Makoto's Lament
by Usa
Summary: Co-Written with Emiri. It's the anniversary of the death of Makoto's parents. How will she handle it and can her friends help her?
1. Default Chapter

Title: Makoto's Lament  
Rating: PG-13  
Authors: Usa (Usako0@aol.com) and Emiri (bunny_s_@hotmail.com)  
Disclaimer: All characters are property of Naoko Takeuchi, Kodansha Ltd, TOEI Animations, and Bandai.  
  
*********  
Makoto's Lament  
By: Usa and Emiri  
*********  
  
  
Makoto looked at the calendar, her etyes welling up with tears. Two more days. In two days it'd be 9 years ago. And the hole in her heart had never shrank. Nine years ago, her parents had left her all alone in the world. Makoto curled up in bed, and let the tears flow. All night long she cried.  
  
The tears just wouldn't stop coming. Shortly before dawn, she fell asleep, exhausted. She didn't think she'd be going to school tomorrow...  
  
*********  
  
Usagi knocked on Makoto's door. She had set a new record for herself: Leaving for school a half hour earlier. It had been quite an accomplishment but after her first year at Juuban High, she learned that it's best to be prepared for things. "Mako-chan! Time to go!"  
  
Usagi knocked again. "Mou, Mako-chan! We're going to be late if you don't come out!" Usagi continued to knock.  
  
She crossed her arms. This was definately not like Makoto. She was usually up at the crack of dawn making lunch that Usagi would scarf down herself. The teenager began to get worried about her friend.  
  
Usagi pulled a bobby pin from her hair and proceeded to pick the lock. She didn't think it would work but decided to try it anyway. Five minutes later, she was rewarded with a light click.  
  
Usagi peered into the dark apartment, but saw no signs of her friend. She did, however, hear faint sobbing...  
  
"Mako-chan?" Usagi asked, heading to Makoto's bedroom.  
  
Usagi knocked softly on the door. "Ne, Mako-chan," she said, looking at her watch. "We're going to be late!"  
  
"You're still sleeping!" Usagi screeched.   
  
"No...don't leave me alone..." Makoto sobbed quietly.  
  
Usagi inched towards the bed. She could see that Makoto was indeed, still asleep and that she was having a nightmare. She gently shook her. "Mako-chan, wake up, it's only a dream!"  
  
In her sleep, Makoto swung her arm in Usagi's direction.  
  
Usagi couldn't duck in time and Makoto smacked her in the eye. "Itaaaii!"  
  
This startled Makoto out of her sleep. She blinked groggily. "Usagi-chan?"  
  
"Hai..." Usagi replied, holding her hand over her eye.  
  
"Usagi-chan, gomen nasai!" Makoto turned to look at her clock. "Usagi, you're going to be late for school!"  
  
"I'm fine, Mako-chan. What about you? You'll be late too!"  
  
"Umm...i'm not going today, Usagi-chan. I'm sick...."  
  
Usagi gave her a wry look. "Okay... Do you need me to bring your school work?"  
  
"No, I"ll get it later. I just want to rest."  
  
Usagi nodded. "Call me on the communicator if you need anything. I'll be her as soon as possible."  
  
Makoto nodded, and shooed Usagi out. Usagi looked worriedly at her friend and left the apartment.  
  
**********  
  
Arriving in class, Usagi noticed that she still had ten minutes before the bell rang. She ran up to Ami and Minako. "Ohayo!"  
  
"Ohayo, Usagi-chan! Where's Mako-chan?"  
  
"She said she wasn't feeling well," Usagi said with a shrug.   
  
"Usagi-chan, what happened to your eye!"  
  
Usagi had completely forgotten about it. She didn't realize it had bruised. "Mako-chan was having a nightmare and smacked me."  
  
"How did you get into her apartment if she was asleep?" Ami questioned.  
  
"I... um... I sort of picked the lock..."  
  
Ami's eyes widened. "That's breaking and entering!"  
  
"I didn't break anything! Mako-chan's the one who almost broke my nose!"  
  
"Why isn't she here, Usagi-chan?" Minako asked again.  
  
"She's sick," Usagi responded. "Ne, I think we should pick up some flowers and visit her after school."  
  
"Sounds like a good idea," Ami said with a nod. Minako nodded in agreement.  
  
The girls took their seats as soon as the teacher entered and they began their day.  
  



	2. Part 2

***********  
Makoto's Lament  
Part 2  
By: Usa and Emiri  
***********  
  
All throughout the school day, the girls missed Makoto in class. When the dismissal bell rang, they hurridly gathered their books and rushed out of school.  
  
"Usagi-chan, where should we stop for flowers?" Minako asked.  
  
Usagi thought for a minute. "What about the one next to Crown's? They always have a good selection. I've received some from there..."  
  
"Ahh...so that's where Tuxedo Kamen gets all his roses," Minako joked.  
  
"Does he get a bulk discount?"  
  
Everyone rolled their eyes. "Minako-chan," Rei said  
  
"Well, think about how many roses he goes through. And, how does he get them to fly through the air like that?"  
  
Sweatdrops formed about the girl's heads. "Minako-chan, be quite please," Usagi told her. "Your talking makes my eye hurt."   
  
"And I thought the Odango didn't have a sense of humor," Rei replied with a smirk.  
  
"Rei-chan you are so mean!" Usagi cried, sticking her tongue out. Rei responded likewise.  
  
"Minna, remember we're going to get flowers for Mako-chan," Ami spoke up. "And, she's probably not feeling well...so it's not a good idea to fight in front of her."  
  
Usagi stopped. "Gomen, you're right as usual, Ami-chan."  
  
"Now, what sort of flowers would she like?" Minako asked.  
  
"Daisys?" Usagi suggested.  
  
"Tulips," Rei said.  
  
"Bluebells," Ami said.  
  
"How about...forget-me nots?" Minako suggested.  
  
"Haaii!" Everyone readily agreed.  
  
The girls each chipped in some money, and bought Makoto a huge bouquet of forget-me nots.  
  
Happy with their purchase, they then headed to Makoto's apartment.  
  
**********  
  
Makoto was lying on her living room couch, still in her pajamas. "Why did you leave me behind?" she whispered. Most of the time, she was alright with being alone, but near the anniversary of their death, she always turned into a complete wreck. She just wanted to get away from everything...Just then, there was a knock on the door.  
  
**  
  
Usagi held the flowers in one hand and loudly knocked on the door with the other. "Mako-chan!"  
  
"Usagi, quit acting like a child," Rei said, shaking her head.  
  
**  
  
'It's my friends,' Makoto thought. She could hear Rei and Usagi arguing in the hall. It'd be nice to tell them everything, but something was holding her back. Right now, she just wanted to be alone in her sorrow.  
  
**  
  
"I hope Mako-chan's all right," Usagi said to herself, reaching for the door knob. It turned easily in her hand.  
  
"Usagi-chan," Ami said. "We shouldn't just walk in unannounced."  
  
"You worry too much, Ami-chan."  
  
"Odango, that's how you got that black eye, remember?" Rei sneered.  
  
Usagi ignored her and stepped inside.  
  
**  
  
Makoto heard her friends voices, but continued to sit on the couch, unmoving. 'Let them come to me.'  
  
"Mako-chan," Usagi whispered. She noticed her friend on the couch. "There you are! We brought you something!" Usagi held the flowers out to Makoto.  
  
Makoto turned and looked at her friends. She hoped that her face wasn't too red and puffy. "Arigatou, minna."  
  
The girls gasped. She didn't look sick, she looked as though she had been crying. Ami sat next to her and put an arm around her friend. "Mako-chan, daijbou? What's wrong?"  
  
"Ahh, it's a bad cold. I'm all stuffed up," she lied, excusing her appearance. "You could all catch it too..."   
  
Usagi didn't believe a word Makoto was saying. She always knew when her friends were lying: They wouldn't look her in the eye. She knelt next to her. "Mako-chan, we'll always be here for you."  
  
"Usagi-chan, what happened to your eye?!" Makoto was shocked.  
  
"Nani? You don't remember?"Makoto shook her head. Usagi laughed a bit. "You told me to meet you here so we could go to school together. I was trying to get you up cause you were still in bed and you swung your hand and hit me."  
  
"Usagi-chan...gomen..." Makoto stuttered.  
  
"It's all right," Usagi replied. "I'm up and moving about. Some things are slightly blurry but I'll be okay."  
  
Makoto hung her head. "Gomen..." After a pause, she said, "Minna, I'm really tired. I think I'm going to get some rest now."  
  
The girls nodded and went to the door. "Mako-chan, remember, if you need us, you know where to find us!" Usagi said.  
  
"I know...arigatou." 'But this is my pain, not yours,' she thought to herself.  
  
"And..." Ami walked over to where Makoto kept her communicator. "No fighting any youma!"  
  
"I won't....you can even take it if you want, to make sure I don't."  
  
Ami picked it up and followed the other three out. "Feel better, Mako-chan!" With that, the girls left.  
  
"Arigatou for the flowers," she whispered after them. For the first time, she noticed what the flowers were. Forget-me nots. The flowers that had been at her parents' funeral.   
  
Her eyes welled up again, with the tears that seemed to never stop flowing. Makoto just wanted someone to hold her, and to let her cry. She wanted her prince to come on a shining white horse and take her away.  
  
"It's not fair...why'd you leave me all alone?!" she shouted. Of course, the otherwise empty apartment didn't answer.  
  
Makoto flopped down t the floor, not caring that it was cold. Her tears pooled under her cheek, but she didn't care if she drowned in them anymore. Forget-me nots...they had left her behind, forgotten her. But she had never forgotten them. Makoto was supposed to have gone on that airplane with them, too. If she hadn't gotten sick then, she would've died with them. 'Maybe it's time to join them,'she thought miserably.  
  
*********  
  
"I hope Mako-chan gets better soon," Minako said.  
  
"Minna, she's not sick," Usagi spoke up.  
  
  
"Nani, Usagi-chan?"  
  
Usagi turned to Minako. "She was lying about being sick. Mako-chan's been crying."  
  
"Why?" Minako asked.  
  
"I'm not sure why. I just know she is. I can tell when she's lying even though she doesn't do that often," Usagi replied.  
  
Ami and Rei looked at Usagi. Could she be right?  
  
"Why would she lie to us?" Ami reasoned.  
  
"Probably because she doesn't think we need to know what's going on," Rei replied.  
  
"Yes, but about what?"  
  
The girls thought and thought. Finally, Ami realized what the problem was. "Minna! Tomorrow is the anniversary of Mako-chan's parents' death!"  
  
"Kami, we forgot!" Usagi cried.  
  
"Do you think we should go back over to her place?" Minako said.  
  
Rei nodded. "Just one of us, though."  
  
"Who should go?" Ami asked.  
  
"You or Rei-chan," Usagi replied.   
  
"Why don't you go, Usagi-chan?"  
  
Usagi stared at Minako. "Me?!"  
  
"Hai."  
  
"But I'm not good enough for that. No one likes to talk to me about things like that."  
  
"But you've known her the longest...I know you'll know just how to cheer her up, Usagi-chan," Ami said.  
  
Usagi smiled. "Arigatou, Ami-chan. I'll do it!"  
  
"Time's a wasting, Usagi-chan." She nodded and ran off towards Makoto's apartment.  



	3. Part 3

**********  
Makoto's Lament  
Part 3  
By: Usa and Emiri  
**********  
  
  
Usagi didn't know what she was planning on saying to Makoto. Usagi was very worried and scared for her friend. She didn't know what Makoto was capable of. Usagi knew she would be devasted if she had ever lost her parents... even if she lost Shingo.  
  
These thoughts made Usagi run faster to the apartment complex. She arrived ten minutes later, and forgoing the wait for the elevator, she ran up the stairs.  
  
Usagi stopped in front of Makoto's apartment and knocked on the door five times. No answer. So, like earlier, she turned the knob...  
  
Usagi wondered around the place, calling her friend's name. There was no reply. Nothing seemed to be out of place and her bed was made. "Mako-chan, where are you?" she whispered worriedly.  
  
Usagi's heart began to beat faster in her chest. Makoto was gone... She knew her parent's death had something to do with it. But where could she be? Tears formed in Usagi's eyes as she turned on her communicator to call the others. "Minna!"  
  
"Usagi-chan?" Minako answered. "Daijobou?"  
  
"It's Mako-chan."  
  
"Nani yo? What about her?"  
  
"She's... she's gone!" Usagi cried.  
  
"NANI YO?!"  
  
"Just what I said. Mako-chan is no longer in this apartment. Her bed is made and everything!" Usagi cried harder. "Minako-chan, what if she... what if she..."  
  
"We have to find her, Usagi-chan!"  
  
"I'm with you! Call Ami-chan and Rei-chan and we'll meet up at Hikawa Shrine!"  
  
"Hai!"  
  
*********  
  
Usagi didn't know where else to look. The girls had been wondering around for 10 hours straight. It was now midnight and they didn't have anywhere else to look.  
  
"Kami, where *is* she?" Minako said.  
  
"We have to find her minna!" Usagi cried. She was starting to lose all self-control. One of her best friends was missing, all alone and upset and there was nothing she could do.  
  
"Usagi-chan?" Ami asked worriedly.   
  
Usagi sank to her knees. She felt so helpless. If only she had remembered about the anniversary! If she had, then Makoto would be safely tucked away in her apartment with Usagi there to comfort her.  
  
"Usagi..." Rei said, giving her friend a hug. "We'll find her and she'll be just fine!"  
  
Usagi nodded hoping it was true.  
  
"You don't think..." Ami couldn't finish her sentence.  
  
**********  
  
Makoto sighed, and looked out the train window. All she cared was that she was getting away for awhile, and that she wouldn't come back until she was ready.  
  
She felt bad for leaving her friends, but she just wanted to be alone. She hoped that they wouldn't worry too much about where she was.  
  
She sighed again and leaned her head against the window of the train. The scenery continued to whiz by, just as she felt life was passing her by. She truly was alone. She wasn't smart like Ami-chan, she didn't have an amazing boyfriend like Usagi-chan who would take care of her, she wasn't spiritual and connected to the universe like Rei-chan, and she wasn't cute like Minako-chan. Tears sprung to her eyes once more, and she wondered if they would ever be dry again. She was just a plain, ordinary, too-tall, girl who was all alone.  
  
She remembered the day the accident had happened like it was yesterday. She was in kindergarten at the time. She was supposed to fly with her parents, but she had gotten an ear infection, and had to stay behind with their next door neighbour. Makoto had gone to school that day, because the teacher was going to read them a special story. While they were lying down for their rest time, the principal came in, asking to talk to her. When the teacher came over to get her, she wouldn't look her in the eye. Makoto knew that something was wrong, but she had no idea...The principal took her back to the office, sat her in an overstuffed chair, and told her straight out what had happened. "Makoto, gomen nasai. Your mommy and daddy are no longer with us."   
At first this confused Makoto. "Of course they're not here, they're flying right now."   
Then the principal looked at her with tears shining in his eyes. "Their plane crashed, Makoto. They're dead." Makoto was in shock, and she just sat there, unmoving, for half an hour. The principal finally tried to put his arms around her, to comfort her. "Makoto..."   
"Don't touch me!" she screamed, swinging her little fist with a ferocity she'd never posessed before. That day, she had broken the principal's nose. The next week, she started kindergarten at a school across town.  
  
Makoto shivered, and hugged herself tight. Ever since then...she had become violent and sometimes cruel. And inside, she felt like her heart shattered like glass every single day when she woke up alone. Before she had met Usagi, everyone had been scared of her. And she had used that fear to push people away. It was easier to control fear than love. Makoto had promised herself not to care about anyone ever again, because the two people that loved her more than anything were now cold and stiff in the ground. She reached down beside her. Good, they were still there. She had brought the forget-me nots from Usagi-tachi. The exact same flowers that sat on her parents' coffins as they were lowered into the ground. "Mama, Papa..." A few tears traced a well-worn path down her face.  
  
An attendant stopped by her seat. "Are you alright, miss?" Makoto looked up and glared at her. The stewardess stepped back, wide-eyed. "Go-gomen..." she stuttered and walked away quickly. More tears fell as she felt guilty for being mean. But she wasn't about to share her pain with strangers. Makoto curled up in her seat, and tried to sleep as the train carried her far from Tokyo. She heard her friends' voices in her head. "Mako-chan, feel better soon." "Makoto-chan, do you want us to bring you your homework?" "Makoto, daijoubou?" "Mako-chan, we'll always be here for you when you need us." 'My friends,' she thought. 'No, my family. My sisters. I should let them know where I am so they don't worry about me.' Then, Makoto remembered that Ami had her communicator. 'Minna, watashi wa daijoubou,' she silently whispered, and hoped that they would pick up on that thought.  
  
She hadn't meant to leave Tokyo, exactly. But she just couldn't stand to be there on the day her parents died, and now she wasn't really sure if she could stand to go back alone. So now, she was on a train, going as far as it would take her. After that, she wasn't sure where she was going to go. Maybe get another apartment somewhere else. Makoto wanted to outrun the past, more than anything else. If she kept moving, she knew that one day in the future, she'd finally be able to leave her sadness buried with her parents. But, she was just going to go, and see where she ended up. Makoto wiped the tears from her eyes, and settled down further in her seat. The rocking of the train, and all the strength she had used crying, along with not eating much for the past two days suddenly made Makoto feel very sleepy. She closed her eyes, falling into a dreamless sleep.  



	4. Part 4

***********  
Makoto's Lament  
Part 4  
By: Usa and Emiri  
***********  
  
  
"Usagi-baka!" Shingo hollared. "Mail!"  
Usagi ran downstairs and took the letter from her brother.   
  
She noticed there's no return address but the writing on the envelope was familiar. Usagi tore it open.  
  
'Usagi-chan, gomen,' it began. 'I just had to get away for awhile...nothing against minna, but I need some time alone to think and things. I still miss my parents, after all this time. But don't worry about me, I'm safe. I'll be home eventually... I'm safe. You don't need to tell minna, but I'm going to travel around by train for awhile, and visit my parents' graves in Osabu. I might even come home and just not tell anyone. I'll let you know when I want company again. I hope I don't sound mean, but I kind of want to just be alone... Love, Makoto'  
  
Usagi's hands were shaking slightly as she read the letter from Makoto. She couldn't decide whether or not to catch the next train to Osabu or wait until she heard from her friend again. Makoto had asked her not to tell anyone and she planned on keeping it a secret, but she needed someone to be there for her. Maybe not to hear words of comfort, but for someone to listen and hold her.  
  
Usagi looked at the letter again. In very small print, on the back, there was an address printed. Makoto did want her to come now! Remembering that they had a school holiday, Usagi ran downstairs to ask permission to go out of town for a while to help a friend out.  
  
**********  
  
"How long will you be gone?" Ami asked.  
  
Usagi shook her head. "I don't know, but you guys will be all right without me, ne? There haven't been any youma sitings for awhile."  
  
"Where are you going?" Rei wanted to know.  
  
"Can we come?" Minako asked.  
  
"It's personal," she responded, not looking in the eyes of any of her friends. She knew they could tell she was lying. "I need to go alone, Minako-chan."  
  
  
"But what about looking for Mako-chan?" Ami asked.  
  
"You guys have a better sense of direction than I do and what I need to do can't wait." Usagi inwardly winced at her excuse, it was terrible.  
  
"Usagi, why can't you look us in the eye?" Rei wanted to know.  
  
Instead of answering Rei, Usagi went to the door. "Gomen, I've got to go! Ja ne!"   
  
Before Ami could say anything to her, she was gone. "What is going on?"  
  
***********  
  
Makoto was sprawled on the hotel bed where she had stopped for the night. She hadn't eaten much of anything all day, but she wasn't really hungry. Tomorrow, she was going to visit her parents' graves. 9 years to the day. She hugged her knees close. 'Maybe I ought to get some sleep now,' she thought to herself. In a way, Makoto wished that Usagi-tachi were there with her. Then again, they could never understand her pain. She sighed.  
  
She wondered if Usagi had noticed the adress on the letter she had sent her, and if she had told any of the others. On the table, the forget me nots sat, reminding her of them. She was going to leave the flowers on her parents' graves tomorrow. 'You'd like my friends,' she sliently whispered.  
  
Makoto decided to go to bed, and crawled under the covers, suddenly too tired to even put on her pyjamas. She hoped her friends weren't worried about her. She was going to go home the next day, or maybe the day after.  
  
She just felt so...empty. Even more so when Usagi-tachi weren't around. When she was all alone, it hurt the worst. Why had fate been so cruel to her? Why were her parents killed so early in thier lives? Why had they been taken from her so soon? 'I never really knew them,' she thought sadly. Their faces were blurs in her mind, aside from the pictures. And all the good memories of them were slowly fading away, until her heart was dark and empty.  
  
Makoto's eyes welled up again. Her tough exterior was exactly that...inside she was alone and hurting and confused. And just tired. She wanted someone to take boyfriends home to meet, someone to be there to see her graduate, someone to tell and help her to follow her dreams. What she really wanted, though, was to be little again, and just curl up in her mother's lap. Every little thing that was wrong, they'd fix for her. She didn't want to have to do everything herself anymore.  
  
Makoto began to cry again. What people would think if they saw her being such a crybaby...  
  
************  
  
Usagi knocked on the door to Makoto's room. She had no idea what to say to her friend. Usagi didn't lose her parents in a plane crash, she didn't lose her brother. She knew though that Makoto needed her and she would always be there for her. Finally, she knocked on the door and waited for a response.  



	5. Part 5

***********  
Makoto's Lament  
Part 5  
By: Usa and Emiri  
***********  
  
Makoto jumped out of her skin at the sound of the door. It wasn't room service, and it most likely wasn't housekeeping. She decided to ignore it.  
  
**  
  
Usagi knocked again but there was no response. She decided to do what she did at Makoto's apartment... try the door knob. It turned easily her hand. *Mako-chan has to learn how to lock doors,* she thought to herself. She entered the dark hotel room and spotted a form on the bed.  
  
Makoto jumped at the sound of the door turning. "Who's there?!" she yelled hoarsely.  
  
"Mako-chan! It's Usagi!"  
  
"Usagi-chan?" Makoto rolled over, shocked. "How...what...where...who..why...how'd you get here? How did you know where I was?"  
  
Usagi took the letter out of her pocket. "You left your address on this piece of paper on purpose."  
  
Makoto looked at the letter. "Oh, yeah..."  
  
She looked up at Usagi. "But...how'd you get here? Why did you come?"  
  
"I took the train. And I came because you needed someone."  
  
"Usagi-chan..."  
  
Usagi looked to the floor. "Of course, if you'd rather have Ami-chan or Rei-chan even to be there for you, I could go and send one of them." She turned to leave.  
  
"No, Usagi-chan, matte..."  
  
"Nani, Mako-chan?" Usagi asked.  
  
"I just...I dunno...tomorrow is nine years since my parents died."  
  
Usagi went over to the bed. "Mako-chan, I can't pretend to understand what you're going through, but I want you to know that I'll always be there for you."  
  
"Arigatou, Usagi-chan. I just...I miss them so much...I never really had a chance to know them..." Moakoto started sobbing again.  
  
"Mako-chan..." Usagi wrapped her arms around her friend. "Just let it out."  
  
Makoto leaned on Usagi's shoulder, and just cried and cried. "I know you all think I'm so tough...but I'm not. Sorry to ruin your image of me like this..."  
  
Usagi shook her head. "I don't think any less of you. It only proves you're human. I know just how tough you are, Mako-chan."  
  
"Arigatou, Usagi-chan..." Makoto continued to sob. "I just feel so...empty...especially now...and sometimes...I get so angry...why did they have to die? Why not someone else's parents? Gomen, I know that sounds selfish...I wouldn't want anyone else's parents to be dead...but I just wish mine weren't...they're never going to get to see all the special events in my life...I can't run to them when I have problems...I've always had to be strong and get by on my own...I just want to have them come back and hug me and take care of me...I feel so alone...Gomen, Usagi-chan, I know you're here...it's a different kind of alone...Oh, I know I make no sense...gomen..."  
  
Usagi was having trouble coming up with the right words. What did she think she could say to her friend? She'd probably be thinking the exact same way if their positions were reversed. "Don't apologize for feeling the way you do. And, contrary to popular belief, I know what it feels like to be alone and... not be."  
  
"Nani? When?"  
  
"It was when Queen Beryl had taken Mamo-chan."  
  
Usagi tried to hold back her own tears. "Gomen ne, I'm supposed to be comforting you!"  
  
"Usagi-chan...but he's alive..." Makoto bit her lip.  
  
"I know that, and that's what scares me. To know that he can be taken away at any time and there'd be nothing I could do about it."  
  
"Iie...Usagi-chan..." Makoto didn't know what to say.  
  
Usagi sighed. This was not going as she planned. Now she had Makoto listening to her problems. "Mako-chan, what I'm trying to say is that you shouldn't dwell on the death of your parents. Focus on what they gave to you."  
  
"And that is..." Makoto was confused and tired.  
  
"Your life."  
  
"If things had gone differently, if they hadn't gone on that plane, would you have met the people you know today? Would you be doing the things you're doing now?"  
  
Makoto slowly nodded, not knowing what else to say or do. "Hai, they gave me life...but they're still dead...and I miss them so much...I don't know..."  
  
"And that is never going to go away. I feel the same way with my grandparents. I miss them too, but I know they're right here." She placed a hand over her heart. "I know they'll always be there for me. Watching over me. Just as your parents are watching over you."  
  
"You think...you think they watch over me?"  
  
Usagi nodded. "I really do."  
  
"Demo..." Makoto didn't know what else to say, and she had a huge lump in her throat. She began to speak, but ended up in a coughing fit.  
  
Usagi placed a hand on Makoto's back. She was hoping that something would sink in. That there'd be some way to keep Makoto from being so hurt by her parents' death. Usagi knew she wouldn't just "get over it" but the pain would lessen soon.  
  
"Ne, Mako-chan, would you like me to leave you alone for a little while? I could get you something to eat."  
  
"Gomen, Usagi-chan...I guess my throat is dry from crying so much. It's all I've been doing all week."  
  
"You don't need to apologize for everything," Usagi said, standing up. "Do you just want some water?"  
  
Makoto nodded. "Arigatou, Usagi-chan."  
  
Usagi left the room to get some ice and returned five minutes later. After filling the glass, she handed it to Makoto. "I'll be on the balcony if you need anything."  
  
"I think I might sleep now, Usagi-chan...you're welcome to the bed if you want it. I can sleep on the floor."  
  
"You sleep on the bed," Usagi replied, with a wave of her hand. "I can sleep anywhere, you know that."  
  
Makoto giggled a little bit. "Hai...if you're sure....you came all this way, though..."  
  
About to open the balcony door, Usagi shook her head. "I'm all right. Get some sleep."  
  
"Alright, Usagi-chan. Arigatou...for being here for me.."  
  
"Always, Mako-chan. Always."  
  
**************  
  
The minute Usagi shut the door, she sank to her knees in tears. Since she mentioned Mamoru being taken from her, she had a huge lump in her throat. Usagi hadn't wanted to cry any more in front of Makoto than she did. Her friend needed her, and here she was, thinking about herself. About her life. Makoto couldn't have the things she had. She didn't have a mother to run to when she was upset, a father to run to when she was scared, or even a little brother to pester.  
  
"Why? Why do good people always end up hurt?" she whispered into the night sky.  
  
****************  
  
"Minna," Rei said, "have any of you heard from Usagi-chan?"  
  
Ami shook her head. "Not since yesterday afternoon before she took off. What did her parents have to say, Minako-chan?"  
  
"Just that she was gone...something about a friend..."  
  
The girls pondered that for a while. "Well, Usagi-chan is likeable person," Ami reasoned. "She probably has friends out of town, ne?"  
  
Rei and Minako nodded in agreement. "Where could Mako-chan be?" Rei asked in frustration. "This is getting serious."  
  
Minkao's eyes lit up. "Maybe...she went to see Mako-chan!"  
  
"How, baka?" Rei replied, hitting Minako in the arm. "None of us knows where she is!"  
  
Minako stuck her tongue out at Rei. "There's no need for violence."  
  
"No, Rei-chan, she could be right," Ami said.  
  
"Nani?"  
  
"Perhaps Usagi-chan received a letter from her. Remember, she was holding a piece of paper while she fished for an excuse."  
  
Rei looked thoughtful. "Hrm... you might have something there, Ami-chan. But, how can we find out where she went?"  
  
"Why don't we ask her parents or Shingo?" Minako suggested. "They'd probably know."  
  
"Good idea, Minako-chan!" Ami exclaimed. "Lets go!"  
  
"Haaii!"  
  
**************  
  
Makoto woke up to see the stars shining through the curtains. It was 2:25 am. She looked around the room for Usagi, and saw her silhouette on the balcony floor.  
  
'I'm glad she came,' she though, and went to carry her friend inside.  
  
Usagi stirred in her sleep. "Mamo-chan..."  
  
Makoto said nothing, and placed her friend on the bed. Then, she went out to look at the stars. They were sparkling millions of miles away.  
  
'Most of those stars have died,' she thought to herself. Millions of years ago...and yet, their light still reaches us. I wonder...' "Mama, Papa, are you out there still?"  
  
"I miss you," she added after a pause.  
  
Makoto began to think more, and Usagi's words came back to her. ' "If things had gone differently, if they hadn't gone on that plane, would you have met the people you know today? Would you be doing the things you're doing now?"   
  
It was true, she realized. She most likely wouldn't be there now. She wouldn'tve met Usagi-tachi...so maybe her parents had to die...'Gawd, it's too late at night to think,' she realized. Nothing made a lot of sense at that hour. All she knew was that Usagi had comer all that way for her. 'I'm glad I'm not truly alone.'  
  
Makoto sighed. She'd always miss her parents. That ache would never go away. But she had people that cared about her. 'Arigatou, Usagi-chan.'  
  
She decided to invite Usagi with her when she went to her parents' graves in the morning. She had someone to listen to her, and a shoulder to cry on. It wasn't the same as having parents, but it helped to know that someone was there.  
  
Makoto felt warm suddenly as she looked up at the stars again, like someone was giving her a hug. 'Maybe my parents are out there,' she thought as she turned to go back inside and sleep.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	6. Part 6

**********  
Makoto's Lament  
Part 6  
By: Usa and Emiri  
**********  
  
Makoto woke up with the sun shining on her face. She decided to get up for the day, since the floor hadn't been all that comfortable. She debated about waking Usagi. 'Maybe I'll just slip out and go to my parents' graves alone,' she thought as she dressed.  
  
Makoto silently packed some food to take with her. She'd probably spend most of the day there, unless it was too sad. She gathered the forget-me-nots, and a few letters she had written to her parents, and placed them all in a giant bag. She began to look for a pen and paper, thinking she should leave a note for Usagi.  
  
Usagi stirred at the noise. Blinking a few times, she saw Makoto, dressed and ready to go. "Mako-chan?"  
  
Makoto turned. "Usagi-chan? You're awake?"  
  
Usagi nodded. "Where are you going at," she looked at the clock, "9 am?!" This was way too early for her especially on holiday.  
  
"Umm...I'm going to visit my parents' graves. You can stay here and sleep and watch TV or something..."  
  
"Are you sure you don't want any company?" she asked.  
  
"Well, you can come if you want..."  
  
Usagi got up from the bed. "Only if you want me to, Mako-chan. If you want to be alone with them, I'll understand."  
  
"Well, you can come if you want to. It's really up to you. I don't mind either way."  
  
Usagi debated whether or not to go. On the one hand, Makoto would probably like to spend some time alone with them. On the other... She might need someone to lean on. Finally, Usagi decided she'd go. Usagi looked up at her friend. "Ne, Mako-chan...  
  
"Hai, Usagi-chan?"  
  
"I'd like to meet your parents."  
  
"Oh, Usagi-chan..." Makoto tried not to start crying again.  
  
"You're more than welcome to come with me." She smiled at her friend.  
  
Usagi gave Makoto a hug. "Besides, I'd like to tell them what a wonderful daughter they have."  
  
**********  
  
Rei, Minako, and Ami stopped to rest by the fountain in the park. They had gone to every hotel they could find trying to find any signs of Makoto or Usagi. Suddenly Rei cried out, "Shingo!"  
  
"Nani, Rei-chan?" Ami asked.  
  
"Usagi's brother," she replied, pointing at Shingo.  
  
"Hai," Minako said. "It's him."  
  
"Let's ask him about Usagi-chan!" Ami suggested. The others nodded and followed Ami over to Shingo.  
  
They designated her to speak with him since he had a crush on her. "Konichiwa, Shingo-kun!" Ami said brightly.  
  
"Ami-san!"  
  
"How are you doing?" Ami felt Rei and Minako nudging her from behind to ask about Usagi.  
  
"I'm alright. How 'bout you? What's up?"  
  
"I'm doing good, arigatou," Ami replied. "I was wondering if you heard from your sister or knew where she was..."  
  
"Oh, she went off somewhere."  
  
"Did she say where?" Rei burst out.  
  
"Umm...she got a letter from someone, and then ran off soon after that. I think Mama took her to catch a train."  
  
The girls pondered for a few minutes. Ami spoke up again. "Did she, by any chance, mention where she was going?"  
  
"Baka Usagi didn't say anything to me. I think the letter was mailed from a hotel, though."  
  
"Eh, I'm gonna get going now. Gotta meet some friends at the arcade. Bai, Ami-san!"  
  
Ami nodded. "Okay. Arigatou, Shingo-kun! Ja ne!" Shingo waved as he ran off towards the arcade.  
  
"Well, he wasn't much help," Rei commented.   
  
"Yes he was, Rei-chan," Ami said. "We know Usagi-chan isn't in town."  
  
"Maybe we should call Tsukino-san and ask her what train Usagi-chan took," Rei suggested.  
  
"Hey, Ami-chan, can't you use your little computer to check hotel listings?" Minako wondered.  
  
"I probably can!" Ami took out her computer and began typing away.   
  
"Can you check and see if any Kinos booked a room within the last week?"  
  
Ami nodded. And typed some more. Finally, the computer began beeping. "Here we go! Moonlight Inn in Osabu!"   
  
"Well, what are we waiting for!" exclaimed Rei. "Lets go!"  
  
"Haaaai!"  
  
***************  
  
Usagi silently followed Makoto to her parent's gravesite. "Mako-chan, would you like me to give you a few moments alone with them? I can wait right here."  
  
"I was just going to sit here...you can stay with me if you want. I can't imagine it's much fun to be dragged to a cemetary."  
  
"It's all right, Mako-chan. Anything for a friend," Usagi responded, sitting next to Makoto.  
  
Makoto half-smiled at her, and pulled the flowers and letters from her bag, setting them at the headstone.  
  
Usagi watched Makoto place the items down with care. They stayed that way for a while. Usagi wasn't sure how long, but she noticed Makoto was shaking. *She's crying...* Usagi leaned in closer to her friend and pulled her into a hug.   
  
Makoto hugged her back. "Arigatou, Usagi-chan."  
  
Usagi held Makoto close and said a prayer in her mind. *Your daughter loves you both so very much. Please help her to lessen the pain of losing the two of you. I'm afraid it will kill her. She is one of my most treasured friends and I thank you for her.*  
  
"I'm glad you came, Usagi-chan, even though I said not to. You know me so well..."  
  
Makoto sniffled a bit. "Im sorry I've been such a crying wreck all week."  
  
"You don't need to apologize, Mako-chan. I cry more than you during the whole year."  
  
Makoto half-smiled. "That's part of who you are. But, I'm glad that you're so sensitive...and that I have you for a friend."  
  
Usagi smiled back. "And I'm glad to have you for a friend. I thank your parents for you."  
  
"Nani, Usagi-chan?"  
  
"I've told already, Mako-chan. Your parents created one of my most treasured friends on this entire earth."  
  
Makoto nodded. "I'm glad you can look at it that way. I was thinking that maybe you were right...about them dying, I mean."  
  
"No one plans these things. I'm pretty certain they didn't want to leave you. However, if they had a choice to go back in time to that fateful flight, what do you think they would have done?"  
  
"Well, I'm sure they would've stayed and not died. But then maybe I wouldn't be here today...and I wouldn't be a Senshi."  
  
"And you would never have met any of us..."  
  
Makoto nodded. "I know..."  
  
"They will always love you. In the past, the present, and the future. They'll always be with you."  
  
Makoto nodded again. "I'm always going to miss them, though...and...regret..."  
  
"You always will," Usagi replied. "But, I think it won't be as often as it is now."  
  
"Haiiii..." Makoto sighed. "It's always harder at this time."  
  
Usagi hugged her friend again. "But this time next year, I'll be right behind you!"  
  
"I know...and you have no idea how greatful I am to have you, Usagi-chan. It helps to know that people care about me."  
  
Usagi stood up and held her hand up for Makoto to take it. "Ready?"  
  
Makoto nodded, and grabbed Usagi's hand. She stood up. 'Goodbye for now, Mama and Papa,' she thought. 'I love you. And, arigatou.'  
  
*********  
  
Makoto and Usagi arived back at the hotel to find Minako, Rei, and Ami sitting at the door.  
  
"Usagi!" Rei exclaimed. "You've been here the whole time??"  
  
"Hai..." Usagi replied.  
  
Rei was chou pissed. "Baka, why didn't you tell us you knew where Mako-chan was!"   
  
Usagi looked over at Makoto. Deciding whether or not she should say something. "Well...I asked Usagi not to tell any of you," Makoto said finally. "I also told her not to come, but she didn't listen to me on that one. Gomen I made you worry..."  
  
Ami walked over to Makoto and gave her a hug. "We forgive you, Mako-chan. We just wanted to know that we're here for you and we always will be."  
  
Makoto returned the hug. "Arigatou, Ami-chan...I kind of thought that I wanted to be alone...but I'm glad you're all here."  
  
"Hai, we're here for you," Minako and Rei nodded. "You don't have to be alone."  
  
All the girls jumped together for a group hug.   
  
Makoto smiled. "Minna, arigatou. I know I'm not alone. I just...needed to miss them. I know I always will." After a pause, she added "What do you say we head back to Tokyo? I think I'm ready to go home again."  
  
*******  
THE END!  
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